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D'Oh Canada On September 1, without fanfare or special event, Epcot re-opened the film "O
Canada." The signage, lobby, and theater all remain the same—only the film
itself has changed. While the film does much to refresh and update the tone, and
thus there is little to actively hate about it, the film falls pretty flat in
its attempts at humor. There are several groan-worthy moments (and not in a good
way). Worse yet, the film will not age well.
Beware, this piece is full of spoilers, you can jump to the conclusion
of this review by clicking on this link.
The movie begins with a 360-degree snow effect, while a disembodied narrator
claims this is what Canada always looks like. He's interrupted by Martin Short,
who appears on one side of the screen, defying expectations of cold by wearing a
bright Hawaiian shirt. Indeed, his words dispel rumors also—Canada isn't just
about the cold, he protests, and says we need Canada's most famous spokesperson.
That prompts the narrator and Short to work in a dig at singer Celine Dion, as
if the audience had expected Celine but this movie was going to join the rest of
the world in making fun of Celine. This is exactly the kind of topical humor
that will not age well. People will soon wonder just who Celine Dion is, if they
don't already. For that matter, there may well be people wondering just who
Martin Short is.
Short kicks out the voice and tells him to "go to the France pavilion, where
they still like invisible narrators." This lame attempt at humor is risky
because someday, presumably soon, France will update its own movie. But even
more so than that, the movie tries to be "hip and edgy" by pronouncing itself
self-aware. "I'm a movie in Epcot" it seemingly cries, "so I'll make
jokes aboutbeing in Epcot!" Self-referential jokes work on Saturday Night
Live or late night talk shows, but they have no place in Disney theme parks, where the
whole point is escapism, not Brechtian alienation effects. We don't want to
ripped out of the illusion, we want the illusion to be complete, the
transformation and the transportation to another place and time to be earnest.
Not ironic.
The CircleVision part of the film gets going for real with a helicopter shot
over Niagara Falls, which Short notes has an American and a Canadian portion. Up
next are shots re-used from the old version of the attraction, but now they are
given place names: Bay of Funday in New Brunswick and a train on the west coast.
The old shots do not look horribly aged and in fact merge together pretty well
with the new shots. My guess would be that the original camera negatives were
well preserved.
Butchart Gardens comes next, a nice touch since the Epcot pavilion has its
own mini version of it.
A shot of a very old stand of trees, Cathedral Grove, then appears. It
reminded me of a scene in American Journeys that also celebrated tall trees.
Then came a wildlife montage, ending with polar bears.
The bears provided Short with a transition to the notion that, yes, it's cold
here, and there are icy landscapes. But the re-used shots of a winter wonderland
with sedate cross-country skiers are immediately followed by new footage of
snowboarders and ski jumpers. That's a pretty good summary of what this movie
tries to accomplish with the update—what was once stodgy and calm is now
portrayed as fun, dynamic, eclectic, and active.
Up next is old footage of skating in the canal in Ottowa, but the scene
doesn't linger as it used to. We cut instead to Short, now dressed as a hockey
player, reminiscing about his youth hockey team (who all complain that the child
Martin is a horrible player. Not exactly rolling around on the floor kind of
funny, though they act as if it is).
We get a few shots of real hockey players doing violent things to each
other—remember, modern Canada is all about action in addition to the
sweeping vistas—and then some quick cuts to horse racing and other action
sports, like white water rafting. There's a brief tribute to Bluenose, a famous
ship. Short notes it's even been placed on one of their coins, so "look for it
the next time you accidentally get a Canadian dime." This made me both grin and
cringe. It's not the usual kind of humor one gets in Disney parks. |
